Bor reverend favors church wedding

By Philip Thon Aleu

January 26, 2010 (BOR) – A religious leader in Bor, where modern weddings and church marriages are unpopular, says he is looking forward to “biblically covenanted” bonding to replace traditional union of couples.

Rev. Thomas Agou told the Sudan Tribune at the sideline of a church wedding in Lieudier Cathedral, Bor town on Monday, however, that the cost involved and “legal requirements” bar many young families from wedding in churches.

“This is biblical,” he said when asked to explain the context of church weddings to social understanding of local people. “It is Christians’ covenanted relationship because the [couples] take oaths which assure long-lasting marriage,” Rev. Thomas explained.

Michael Reech Madit and Rachael Yar Panchol on Monday wed in Lieudier Cathedral, becoming one of the first few couples who finalized their marriages in churches in Bor where the traditional system firmly holds.

In Bor culture, engaged couples become husband and wife in many forms including ‘matengder’ – where the bridegroom or his brothers sneak the bride to their family. ‘Mee’ – when the bride goes alone to her future home as prearranged with her friend. And ‘Liic’ – unintended pregnancy. In these cases, parents do not have knowledge of the marriage arrangement at the first stages, learning of it when the two sides converge later.

Another method of marrying is ‘Keeny’ – a bridegroom, or two rival ones, officially seek permission from the bride’s parents to marry her. Keeny is the accepted form of traditional wedding in Bor because the bride’s parents reserve the right to reject a bridegroom based on dowry pledged, seen, paid or both. The girl’s parents also have the power to choose the ‘wealthiest’ family for their daughter in case of competition. ‘Keeny’ is the most respected and satisfactory form of wedding in Bor culture.

The competition in ‘keeny’, in many instances, marries girls against their will and it is today’s cause of divorces. Another type marriage could also be completed when the bridegroom’s or bride’s parents decide on the spouses.

This latest form of marriage, uncommon in the past, has surged in recent years since people of Bor origin living abroad prefer marrying local girls. Forced marriages are stable in Bor but the trend has sharply changed in the last few years especially with women’s desire for emancipation.

Before introduction of foreign religion in Bor and until the late 1980s, the new couples’ wedding was blessed by pouring water on them and calling the names of ancestral gods by elders in a process locally known as ‘yoor.’ The church wedding – the newest of all marriages, is a substitute for ‘yoor’, Rev. Thomas Agou says. But ‘yoor’ is “demonic” in Bor culture today, he says.

Wedding in the church is, however, complicated by cost and legal requirement, the Reverend observes saying that “it is expensive” and one must forget other forms of Bor marriages like ‘matengder’ or ‘liic.’.

And like the Reverend Thomas, many people witnessing Reech’s and Panchol’s wedding agree that the process in the church is complicated. To young men, it is hard to withstand the temptation of the world. Faithfulness, caring and loving in all times as sought in the bible are some principles men believe are unacceptable beside polygamy in this culture. Contrary to males, all women want to be wedded in the church. Looking from left to right, east to west in this muddy-walled-iron-roofed church of Lieudier, the number of women is double that of their counterparts. There is high admiration from girls for modern and church weddings.

For Michael Reech, who is a leader of Bor community in Canada, having a wedding in church is delighting, a warm home hospitality and an opportunity to greet his people. The couple follows bible verses as being read by Rev. Thomas who presides over the 2 hours function in front of a cheering gathering; cheering because their son and daughter have won a respect. The 2,000 member audience was mainly people from Reech’s section.

Dowry payment, in term of cattle, is made in discussion from both sides of the parents outside the religious center. All forms of marriages do not exempt or determine dowry price which is 30 or more cattle.

Only the blessing of the couple, in this particular arrangement, is witnessed in the church.

(ST)